A former Rutgers University student convicted of spying on his gay roommate’s sexual encounters with another man will face up to 10 years in prison and deportation to India. Dharun Ravi was convicted of invasion of privacy and hate crimes in a case that sparked national outrage.
Heard a lot of kids say it gets better, but it really doesn’t until you experience it for yourself.
1. Become a model
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Being a gay teen can be tough, and sometimes it can even lead to suicide. Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old from Buffalo, recently spoke out about his experience with bullying and how it impacted him. He was a victim of bullying, and he wanted to tell his story to help others who were experiencing the same thing as him.
2. Become a contractor
Imagine your worst high school memory and multiply it by ten and you’ve got the life of many gay teens. They’re bullied by their peers until they either kill themselves or drop out of school. They can’t focus on learning the Pythagorean theore or the amendments to the Constitution when they have to think about how they’re going to survive another day.
Some of them, like New Jersey teen Tyler Clementi who jumped off the George Washington Bridge after his roommate broadcast his homosexual encounter, take their lives because they can’t stand living as anything less than savages. And yet many adults still don’t care or condone the bullying.
But despite the tragic headlines, Gilden maintains that Savage’s wildly popular “It Gets Better” message is flawed. It omits LGBT youth’s active sexuality and need to find ways to express it as they mature; it leaves out the nonvirtual and internet venues where they join in what Gilden calls “sexual communities” that make their non-normative lives livable; and it fails to acknowledge that some of the bullies are less destructive than the victim/savior pattern demands and may even be LGBT youth themselves.
3. Become a star
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Dan Savage, the columnist and activist who recorded a video urging gay teens to stay strong in the face of bullying, often ends his videos with the message that it will get better. But that’s little solace for a kid like Seth Walsh who committed suicide after suffering the taunts and slurs of fellow students.
Gilden carefully culls trial testimony and press accounts to show that the innocence narrative omits key facts about Clementi’s experience. Among other things, it leaves out the fact that Clementi was not closeted and had been discussing Ravi’s sexually explicit videos online in what Gilden describes as “sexual communities” long before the notorious webcam episode. It also fails to acknowledge that he had depression and was making hard drive files of anguished self-pity before the webcam incident.
4. Become a celebrity
Gay cam sites have become a way for homosexuals to explore their sexual desires without fear of discovery. These sites allow them to experiment with their fantasies and to make some extra cash. These sites also offer a variety of genres, from gay sexting to amateur bareback and gay daddies.
Gay teens often feel isolated from their peers and are unable to focus on their studies. Some are so distressed by their treatment that they commit suicide. In the wake of these tragedies, columnist Dan Savage has posted a series of videos urging gay youth to stick around because it gets better.
The videos have gone viral but, according to the great-aunt of one victim, the message misses the mark. It omits the fact that many young gay people are out to their families and community; it omits the reality that some LGBT youth form sexual communities that support their lives and make nonnormative life livable; and it omits the real-life dangers that confront LGBT youth as they navigate the virtual world.