If you’re a woman and find yourself salivating at the sight of other women or fantasizing about girl-on-girl sex, it’s probably pretty safe to say that you’re lesbian.
It can also help to spend time around other queer people if you’re unsure of your sexuality. For some, discovering their sexuality is a journey that takes time and courage to live authentically.
1. You’re attracted to women.
If you are sexually aroused by women and find them more interesting than men, this is one of the biggest signs that you might be a lesbian. This is especially true if you think about women in your spare time and imagine what it would be like to date, kiss, or have sex with them.
Your lack of interest in men could also mean you’re a sapphic, bisexual, or pansexual. However, this is not a surefire test, and your sexual orientation may change throughout your life. If you want to explore your sexuality, try spending time with LGBTQ people or watching movies or TV shows with LGBT+ characters. You can also try out different labels, such as bisexual, queer, or biromantic. Whatever you choose, make sure it feels right to you!
2. You’re attracted to other women.
If you feel sexually aroused when you think about kissing or having sex with women, it’s probably time to acknowledge that you may be a lesbian. But don’t get too cocky about it — discovering your sexual orientation isn’t a simple process.
Your sex fantasies and dreams are mainly about women. This could be a sign that you are a lesbian or bisexual. Or it could mean that you are attracted to women and men but are unsure about what your sexuality is.
Perhaps you’ve been noticing that your friends are more feminine than they used to be. Or maybe you’ve been to a lesbian bar and felt like you fit in there. Either way, it’s worth taking a closer look at your sexuality.
3. You’re attracted to other women’s bodies.
Figuring out your sexuality takes time, so don’t rush yourself. But if you are more than just attracted to women, you may be a lesbian.
Maybe you find yourself checking out your female friends’ butts or cleavage when they’re around, or you talk about your desire to have non-man on non-man sex with your queer BFF. You also love to watch romantic comedies, blast Melissa Etheridge on road trips, and hang out at women’s bars or events.
You’ve probably kissed a girl, and it was intoxicating and amazing. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a lesbian, but it’s a good indication that you aren’t straight. A mental health professional can help you create a safe space to explore your sexuality. They can also help you unpack internalized homophobia or heterosexism that could be blocking your desires.
4. You’re attracted to other women’s minds.
Women who have feelings for other women can have sexual fantasies that aren’t necessarily about having sex with them. These feelings may also include admiration and interest.
It’s normal to have attraction for other people, and if you only feel that way for women, it could mean you’re lesbian. It’s also possible you’re bisexual, and you just don’t realise it.
If you’re attracted to women, it’s a good idea to familiarise yourself with the lesbian community. You can do this by talking to other women who identify as lesbian and getting involved in LGBTQ+ organisations and events. You can also start by reading articles and books about LGBT+ issues and experiences. You’ll be more able to recognise your own queer sexuality when you understand what it means for other women.
5. You’re attracted to other women’s hearts.
Maybe you’ve only ever had male partners or are currently married, but you’re attracted to another woman. It’s totally okay – and normal – to feel this way, even if you’ve been identifying as straight your whole life.
You might find yourself daydreaming about women or having sex with female friends. You might also get tingly feelings when you read lesbian romances or watch romantic movies about women. It’s important to remember that figuring out your sexuality is a journey, and it’s something you shouldn’t rush. You may need to seek out community support to help you understand and accept your feelings, and explore the possibilities of a lesbian relationship. This can include attending Pride celebrations, hanging out at your local LGBTQ center, or simply spending time with other queer people.
