If a dirty dream featuring a girl in your sleep has you questioning your sexuality, a sex test or nasal swab isn’t the answer. But an online quiz might be.
Sexual orientation is on a spectrum with exclusive heterosexuality at one end and homosexuality at the other. In the middle is bisexuality, which is a sexual attraction to both men and women.
What is bisexuality?
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation where someone feels romantic and/or sexual attraction to men and women. People who identify as bisexual often also use other labels like queer, fluid, or pansexual to describe themselves.
People who are bisexual may experience discrimination from both heterosexual and gay communities. It’s common for people who are bisexual to be ‘closeted’ in order to hide their identity from family members and friends who don’t accept them. This can lead to feelings of confusion and isolation.
Some people use the word ‘fluid’ to describe their sexuality because it feels like their preferences change over time. They might start by fantasizing about girls, but then later find themselves imagining boys. This is completely normal! It’s not ‘greedy’ to fancy both boys and girls, just as it wouldn’t be for someone who was attracted to ice cream but was more interested in pizza. These are just different stages of the same journey to self-acceptance.
Are you bisexual?
If you have feelings for both women and men, it’s possible that you’re bisexual. However, sexual orientation doesn’t just refer to your physical attraction — it also describes your romantic, emotional, and spiritual attraction to people of different genders. Some people use the term bisexual for all these facets of attraction, while others prefer to call it queer or fluid.
If it feels right to identify as bisexual, you should go for it! But remember that your sexuality doesn’t make you who you are. Your identity is just one small part of your whole self.
If you’re still unsure, it can be helpful to talk with your therapist or a supportive friend. They can help you come to terms with your feelings and figure out how best to express them in your life. They may even suggest ways to try out dating women and men to test your orientation. But most importantly, listen to your heart.
Are you a lesbian?
In our culture, the term “lesbian” means a biological woman who is sexually and romantically attracted to other women. However, a lesbian can also mean a gender-nonconforming female or a nonbinary person who prefers women. So, if you aren’t sure what your orientation is, consider the following signs that you may be a lesbian.
If you find yourself crushing on female friends, celebrities, or other people that you don’t know, this is a sign that you might be a lesbian. However, it’s important to note that many girls have crushes on men at some point, and this doesn’t necessarily make them a lesbian.
Another sign that you might be a lesbian is if the men you’ve dated in the past have been more feminine than masculine. Again, this doesn’t automatically make you a lesbian, but it could be a sign that you are. You might also be a lesbian if you enjoy reading or watching romantic lesbian movies and novels.
Are you straight?
As sexuality has become more and more fluid, we have new terms to describe our desires. Traditionally, lesbian is used to describe women who are exclusively attracted to other women for romantic and sexual relationships. But these days, it’s more common to see people describing themselves as bisexual. Similarly, there are also more specific terms like pansexual, demisexual and asexual to describe various aspects of our sexuality.
Girls, you might have had a crush on one of your female friends or even some famous celebrity at some point in your life. Having feelings for girls might have confused you and made you question your sexuality. But that’s totally normal.
It’s not necessary to identify as straight, gay or bisexual only because you have a preference for one gender over the other. Many people have a mix of preferences and this is completely normal too. The best thing you can do is be open and honest with yourself and let your natural feelings guide you.